The Ketchup Nazis

So if you've lived in L.A. for any extended period of time, you've no doubt heard ALL about Father's Office - the supposed best burger in town. I finally made my way there this Labor Day, after a full day at the beach. I'd even kept my lunch to a minimum, in hopes of savoring this oasis of burgers. Shit, we got there right as the restaurant opened (we chose the Culver City one - figuring it would be less crowded), to make sure we'd get a good outdoor seat. In short, all the variables were in place - I was about to experience this mythic burger I'd heard so much about.

And what, you ask, are my thoughts of this epic red-blooded treat? Over-rated. Plain and simple. Father's Office is known for banishing ketchup from the premises. Their food is so tasty, they must assume, that you won't need it! Wrong. I was DYING for it throughout my meal, particularly for the bland, unsalted fries. Sorry, but the pungent aioli they substituted didn't cut it.

The burger itself was a hearty 1/2 pound or so, and I could tell it was quality meat. But it was over-cooked, for everyone at the table. So if you want medium rare, order it on the rarer side..and if you want medium (as I did), order medium rare, and so on. The toppings include tomato (nicely sliced), arugula (too much of it) and caramelized onions (overpowering). The bun was a french loaf of bread, nicely toasted, but still a little too much bread for me. The highlight of the meal? The beer. I'll hand it to them there - the beer selection is first-rate.

At the end of the meal, I was full, but I can't say I have plans to return. I've experienced this myth and I'm here to tell you it's just that - a myth.

Father's Office
www.fathersoffice.com

Santa Monica
1018 Montana Avenue
Santa Monica, CA 90403
TEL: (310) 736-2224

Los Angeles
3229 Helms Avenue
Los Angeles, CA 90034
TEL: (310) 736-2224

NY Comes to L.A....almost

I've long listed The Bowery as one of my favorite restaurants in L.A. Its NY-feel reminds me of my other favorite restaurant 3000 miles away, Schillers. Both share similar, pared down menus and a dim, low lit ambiance. They somehow make you feel cool, just being there. So when I heard the owners had opened a new joint just down the road, I had to check it out.

Delancey is first and foremost an Italian restaurant, and I admit that's not usually my first choice when it comes to dining out. I can make pasta at home, thank you, and for a fraction of the price. But if Italian's what you want, Delancey's surely delivers. We started with the egglant caponata - I'm not that familiar with eggplant, but whatever they've done with it here, I'm sold. For our entrees we chose bolognese w/rigatoni and number 6 pizza w/tomato, fontina, sausage and roasted peppers. While the pasta was ho-hum (again, I could make this at home), the pizza was delicious. The crust was crisp, the sauce was plentiful and the flavors mixed nicely. Overall, I was pretty pleased, though I can't say I'm dying to go back. The ambiance was adequate, though not quite as hip as The Bowery. And I wish the restaurant had been more full - for a Thursday night, it seemed especially quiet. On a side note, the beer selection was impressive.

All in all, I think big brother Bowery has this one beat. But if you're in the mood for Italian, I'd say this modestly-priced, relatively cool eatery should do you right.

Delancey
http://www.delanceyhollywood.com/
5936 W. Sunset Blvd.
Los Angeles, CA
(323) 924-2093

Souplantataion - Enter at your own risk...

Like many people here in L.A., I've driven by Souplantation (on the corner of 3rd st and La Cienega) umpteen million times. What kind of restaurant, I asked myself, could devote itself SOLELY to....soup! How is that possible? And how good could the soup possibly be, made in giant batches large enough to serve the hundreds who passed through its doors each day? I was fascinated...

So last Sunday, I let my curiosity get the better of me. My best girl friend was sick with the flu, so the only thing she could stomach was soup. And because I'm essentially puddy in her hands, off I went to fulfill her request. Of course, it WAS partly selfish - I couldn't wait to discover what might lay behind those soup-driven doors.

The first thing to note is that, surprisingly, Souplantation offers more than just soup! The first stop on your tour is the salad bar. Unfortunately, the salads looked like they'd been out all day, marinating in the dressing until practically soup themselves. But I'm a sucker for a chinese chicken salad, and I figured I'd at least try it. Next it's on to the main event...For a place dedicated to soups, I was disappointed to discover there were only 6 options on the day I arrived! A sad and watery-looking chicken noodle, a tomato-based vegetable, an oily french onion, a congealed beef stew, and a few others. All came served in giant vats from which you served yourself. After being chastised by an elderly couple for jumping the line (should you brave a Souplantation experience on your own, take heed of the unwritten social rules there!), I finally settled on the french onion and the vegetable - both safe bets I figured.

But oh how wrong I was! The french onion was fine - not horrible but not great - but the vegetable was down right offensive. I think I stomached one bite, maybe two, of what tasted like stomach bile before the huge chunks of cauliflower scared me off completely. Who the fuck adds whole cauliflowers to a vegetable soup?! The chinese chicken salad salvaged what could have been a wholly disappointing meal - despite being somewhat soggy, it had a good, light flavor and all the right ingredients.

All in all, I can't say I completely regret my Souplantation adventure. I'd been eyeing the place for a good two years now, and it's nice to know what I'm NOT missing. I think I'll stick to my cans of Progresso from now on, and leave the 'plantation to the old folks homes!

Souplantation: http://www.souplantation.com/
100 N. La Cienega Blvd (at 3rd Street)
Los Angeles, CA 90048

Gyu-Kaku - Burn your own graham crackers!

Last night was my handsome boyfriend's 25th birthday (sadly, I guess the term "adorable" no longer applies, him being a real man now), so to treat him, I made a reservation at Gyu-Kaku, a Japanese BBQ dining establishment located in Beverly Hills on La Cienega. After pushing our reservation back a half-hour (the demands of a weekly TV series never end!), we finally arrived just in time for the 9:30 PM happy hour, which includes half-priced menu items, $5 soju cocktails, and, the kicker, 99cent draft beers. To be completely forthright, I freely admit I had 3 soju mojitos throughout the evening, but I don't think that impaired my palette. Really, I don't!

We began the meal with one refreshing mojito each - and I must say, they were sweet and sugary and just about perfect. For our appetizer, we chose the Hawaiian ahi tuna - which I had tried in Hawaii the week before! I couldn't wait to share the delicacy with him - I'd stained his ear for a week about how fucking amazing it is. But sadly, I guess the Hawaiians do it better. This poke was laced with enough wasabi to singe our nose hairs. Strike one for me - the tuna also lacked a true freshness, and the only flavor remotely distinguishable was that of the wasabi. Oh, and I'm referring to the SECOND round of poke, after we'd returned the first one complaining of the wasabi dominance.

We soldiered on, though. For our main meal, we procured the advice of our helpful waiter (the wait staff was extremely responsive and accommodating throughout the evening). He suggested we try the garlic shrimp, the nakaochi kalbi short-rib, the miso harami skirt steak, and the spicy Chilean sea bass. We coupled the meats with asparagus, grilled corn on the cob, and a grilled rice ball.

All of the food arrived at the table at approximately the same time, so it was up to us to decide what to cook and when! Our kindly waiter turned up the heat on our grill and left us to dive in - the only problem was, the grill was a little TOO hot. Our first round of meat was pretty much scorched, though we still gnawed away - with gusto. Must have been the mojitos talking. Once we got the hang of it, though, we were pretty good at manning our grill. The shrimp was just garlicky enough, though the texture was a little rough for my liking - it felt at times like I was ripping flesh off a bone. The short-rib and skirt steak were perfect, though. Particularly, the skirt steak marinade was both sweet and smoky, and my date had to stop me from ordering more. The short-rib was sliced into cubes, and as such were a little tougher to cook all the way through. By far the best, the sea bass my favorite dish. Delivered to us in a tin foil pouch, all we had to do was throw the pouch on the grill and let the fish soften. When it was done cooking (only 3 or 4 minutes later), it was the softest, flakiest sea bass I've had in a while. It literally melted in our mouths.

The side dishes were pretty great, too - the corn was fresh and juicy (I squirted my date more than a couple times) and came with its own bowl of melted butter. The asparagus could have been fresher, but cooked inside a pouch with butter and garlic, it still hit the spot. And the rice ball was, surprising to me, actually delicious when toasted on the grill. I normally hate rice - it's dry, it makes me gag, and I find it tasteless. But it came with a nice soy glaze to paste the rice with, and it was just crispy enough for my delicate taste buds.

Being the neurotic 'mo that I am, I'm not usually a dessert person. And by the end of the meal I was pretty full (not to mention well on my way to drunk), but in honor of my good date's birthday, I thought dessert was in order. Naturally, we ordered the s'mores - where else can you make your own s'mores?! Lord knows we aren't camping on our weekends. I need my princess sleep! The waitress who delivered the disassembled treats warned us not to put anything directly on the grill - but I NEED CRISPY CRACKERS! Call us risk. takers. And I think I did a bit better than my date, who charred one of his graham crackers! He swears it added to the campfire effect, but I think he was too proud to admit I was, well, better. At any rate, the s'mores topped off an overall delicious meal. The mix of crispy cracker with soft marshmallow and melted hershey's chocolate was messy and gooey - and exactly what we wanted.

If you haven't been to Gyu-Kaku on La Cienega, check it out. Sure, we hit some rough spots (I'm gonna give the poke one more try, sana wasabi, and see how it goes), but overall it was a fun, delicious meal. It's great for a romantic date AND group meals. And next time you have an awkward dinner date or obligatory meal on your hands, suggest this place - with all the grilling and prodding and poking going on, you'll have plenty to carry you through even the most boring meal!

Gyu-Kaku: http://www.gyu-kaku.com/

163 N. La Cienega (south of San Vicente), Beverly Hills, CA 90211